And Sovereign Oklahoma Foundation
BURNING MAN 1998 : PROPOSAL
As you may already be aware, in 1997, Woodpussy, in association with The Small Fireworks Close Proximity Effects Council, conducted a very complicated excavation of the largest pyramid in Arbuckle County Oklahoma. You may also be aware that a creature known to the Mexican people as CHUPACABRA was found living in this ancient structure and was quite upset by this intrusion, threatening to destroy every living being at Burning Man 1997 with what is commonly known as "a tube". Thanks to the quick thinking and unselfish actions of Woodpussy's scientific team, the monster was destroyed and event participants escaped with only minor burns. This having been said, please consider the following proposal drafted by Woodpussy's legal defense network for Burning Man 1998.
Thank you for your attention.
G. Don Wetumka
CEO/ General Manager
An Endless Source Of Energy
From Within The Earth Itself
Coinciding with the opening day of Burning Man 1998, the science team at Woodpussy Inc. plans to begin erecting a thirty foot oil derrick on the Black Rock playa and should be prepared to drill for petroleum three to five days later. While this may inconvenience some festival participants, we believe the majority of attendees will realize the necessity for such progress and will be content in knowing their lives will be enriched by the growing abundance of clean burning fossil fuels. By doing "God's work" , as we like to call it, these young people will be able to fire up Mom's motor home and floor it all the way back to Walnut Creek with a care free "more where that came from" attitude. While providing this service may not be cheap, ( see enclosed budget) we feel obligated to contribute to the surrounding Burning Man community and the country as a whole. Every effort will be made by Woodpussy Inc. and it's co-sponser, The Sovereign Oklahoma Foundation, to keep noise, pollution and wandering drunken oil workers to a minimum in nearby campsites. With these efforts we hope to keep our presence at the festival only mildly annoying. Furthermore, we at Woodpussy are sensitive to rumors of "ancient Republican burial grounds" in the area and a reported "untapped vein of hell" said to be running just beneath the desert crust. Precautions will be taken to drill "around" such delicate obstacles. Thank you for your time and attention. I'm sure we can all work together to have the most productive Burning Man ever.
G. Don Wetumka
The derrick itself will be a thirty foot tall wooden structure with Woodpussy's neon W (as mentioned on NPR's BM 97 report) on all four sides. A propane "burn-off" torch on top will help light the structure and surrounding area at night. The entire rig will be covered with class C fireworks on the day of the burn.
Oil workers beginning the night shift will arrive and set to work driving the enormous boring tackle into the depths of the earth thus tapping a previously untapped "vein of hell"
(mentioned on page 2). This will start a chain of events causing a flaming ghost-like figure to fly up the interior of the derrick and ignite the fireworks on top. Six performers in fireworks helmets will emerge from the base of the rig as "the damned souls of the desert" launching fireworks skyward and flailing about as only a damned soul will do. The workers, not anticipating such an ugly turn of events, run for their lives leaving the crowd of curious onlookers to fend for themselves. Meanwhile the structure burns from top to bottom leaving the entire project in ruin while the ghosts of deceased county supervisors run rampant on the playa. The science team may or may not make profuse apologies to the fuel hungry consumers who have been eagerly awaiting their share of "free" Burning Man gasoline for the long trip home. Most likely they will sneak away in the night to begin planning for next year.
Soundtrack will be a combination of live and pre-recorded sounds by Woodpussy.
All fireworks will be common class C type. All ignition systems will be fired electrically.
Woodpussy will again be working closely with Professor of Fine Art and pyrotechnician, Donald Evans